Monday, April 10, 2006

The Suitcase

A man was on his death bed and he cried out to God, "I haven't finished packing," to which the Lord replied, "You cannot bring anything with you."

"Please, Lord!" replied the man desperately, "Just one suitcase!?" The Lord answered, "I'll tell you what: you may bring one suitcase only and you may fill it with whatever you desire."

The man, now rejuvenated, got an empty suitcase and filled it with gold bars, pure and glistening. There were so many that the zipper didn't quite close all the way. The excited man couldn't even lift it or drag it, so he nestled up next to it and, clutching the handle, died.

The man found himself at the Gates of Heaven, and Peter (the dead man assumed he was Peter based on all the heaven jokes he heard in his life) started waving his hands, "Woah, woah, woah, you can't bring that in here!" The man confidently answered, "The Lord gave me special permission."

A massive angelic being, like nothing the man had ever seen, appeared next to the alleged Peter, "You called, Sir?" the angelic voice rang. "Yes. Please ask the Lord if this man has a right to bring this suitcase with him into Paradise." The angel vanished and immediately appeared again. "He has permission, Sir."

The man gave a proud nod, and started to walk toward the gate. "Wait," the Petrine doorman said, "May I have a look at what you so desire to have with you in Paradise?" The man set down and unzipped his case. The contents shone and glittered in the dead man's eyes and he smiled with satisfaction and joy as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"I can't believe it!!" the gatekeeper exclaimed, "You brought pavement!!?"